Marriage and family

What is their concept in the Christian faith?

What is marriage?

It is that special communion of life and of love between a man and a woman, in which specific properties and goals are realised.

What are the properties and goals of marriage?

They are varied and complementary:

Mutual self-giving, which is proper and exclusive between husband and wife;

Heterosexuality which leads to interpersonal complementarity;

Unity;

Fidelity;

Indissolubility;

Fertility;

Education of children;

Openness and commitment to the Church and society.

These properties and goals can be noted at the human level, and more so in Christian life, where the marriage is a sacrament.

What is the relationship established between man and woman in marriage?

Man and woman are equal as persons and complementary as male and female.

In this way they perfect one another. Their union also includes the sexual dimension, which unites body and spirit, ''in such a manner that they are no longer two, but one flesh'' (Mt 19:6), and at the same time they collaborate with God towards the generation and education of new human lives.

Matrimonial union, according to the original divine plan, is indissoluble: ''What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'' (Mt 19:6)

What is the basis of this concept of marriage?

This concept of marriage:

• •Has been willed by God the creator, who, in the beginning of the world, created man ''male and female'' (Genesis 1:27);
• Is evidenced by sound reason;
• Is recognised as such by all major religions;
• Is elevated by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament.

What is the relationship between marriage and the family?

The family is a natural society, founded on the marriage between man and woman. Therefore, a man and a woman, united in marriage, constitute a family together with their children. Each of them is a person equal in dignity to the others, though each one has his / her specific and complementary responsibilities.

What is the role of the family?

At the social level:

• The fundamental and central cell of society;
• The first and essential level of social articulation;
• The primary source and resource of society and solidarity;
• The fundamental experience of communion, human and social responsibility;
• The environment for social promotion of the person;
• The bearer of historical, social and economic values.

At the personal level:

• The environment of the communion of life and love of the person;
• The natural place for the transmission and continuity of life, for the growth and protection of the person;
• The beneficiary of original rights, which are generally recognised at the civil level as well;
• The school of human and Christian values;
• The place of the first announcement of the Gospel and of the growth-testimony of the Christian faith;

The ''domestic Church''.

''Marriage is a Sacrament.'' What does this mean?

This means that it is an efficacious sign of the covenant between Christ and the Church (cfr. Eph 5:32). Christian marriage manifests and incarnates the spousal love of Christ for the Church: ''Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church'' (Eph 5:25), by giving his own life for her.

This Christian meaning does not reduce, but rather confirms and reinforces the human value of marriage.

Why is marital love indissoluble?

The reasons for the indissolubility of conjugal love are the following:

• The very nature of marital love, which is total and faithful;
• The original plan of God;
• The good of the children;

It is a ''Sacramental Sign'' of the indissoluble love of Christ for the Church.

What is the meaning of sexual intercourse in marriage?

It has a double significance: unitive (the complementary giving of total and definitive love between husband and wife) and procreative (openness to the procreation of a new life).

Is it moral to prevent procreation?

Any conjugal sexual relationship should, by itself, remain open to the transmission of life. Therefore, any action is intrinsically dishonest when, either in the planning or in the fulfilment or in the development of the natural consequences of sexual intercourse, one intends rendering procreation impossible, as a goal or a means. Contraception gravely opposes matrimonial chastity. It is contrary to the good of transmission of life (the procreative aspect of marriage) and to the mutual self-giving of the spouses (unitive aspect of marriage). It wounds true love and negates the sovereign role of God in the transmission of human life.

How can spouses regulate fertility in a moral way?

By means of periodic continence and recourse to the infertile periods of the woman.

The testimony of couples who, for years, live in harmony with the design of the Creator and correctly use the rightly-called ''natural'' methods, when there is a proportionately serious reason, confirm that spouses, by common accord and with total self-giving, can integrally live the demands of chastity and conjugal life.

Why can't remarried divorced persons receive Holy Communion?

They cannot receive Holy Communion since their very objective situation of being remarried divorcees, gravely against Christ's teaching, prevents them from doing so. It's not a question of any discrimination, but only of absolute fidelity to the will of Christ who gave us and entrusted to us once again the indissolubility of marriage as a gift of the Creator.

Reception of Holy Communion is opened solely by sacramental absolution, which can be given only to those who, after repenting for having violated Christ's teachings, are sincerely disposed to a form of life that is no longer in contradiction with the indissolubility of marriage.

This concretely implies that when a man and a woman, due to serious reasons - for example, the upbringing of their children - cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they commit themselves to live in full continence, as brother and sister, abstaining from sexual intercourse. In such a case, they can receive Holy Communion, it being understood nonetheless that there is the obligation to avoid scandal.

Is it easy for spouses to live the demands of marriage and family life?

It's not easy, but neither is it impossible. God does not ask for impossible things.

Especially to those who ask Him for it, He gives them the grace of the Holy Spirit who, by freeing the spouses from their hardness of heart, makes it possible for them to realise fully, though gradually, the properties and goals of conjugal and family life.

On the path towards sanctity, Christians experience their own human weakness as well as the benevolence and mercy of the Lord. Therefore, the keystone of the exercise of Christian virtue, and thereby even of conjugal chastity, rests on our faith which makes us aware of God's mercy and on repentance which humbly welcomes divine forgiveness.

Frequent and persevering recourse to prayer, to the Eucharist and to the sacrament of Reconciliation are therefore indispensable.

The 'responsibility', specifically of the spouses, is not light and easy in so far as being small or insignificant, but becomes light because it is the Lord who shares it, together with the whole Church.

Can marriage and the family be equated to any other type of cohabitation?

Absolutely not. Given the nature of marriage and the family, one should avoid equating a legitimate family with couples who simply ''live together''. One should avoid equating the family with other forms of non-matrimonial cohabitation, be they heterosexual or homosexual. Moreover, such an approval has no foundation in a good civil constitutional order.

What are the duties of the society and the state towards the family?

The society and the State have the right and duty to:

• Recognise the rights of the family and adopt every suitable measure to facilitate the fulfilment of the tasks under their respective competence;
• Guarantee a wider exercise of family rights and duties, by also promoting parental responsibilities;
• Encourage the equal dignity of persons and overcome the obstacles which hinder their effective realisation;
• Safeguard childhood and the rights of minors and of the aged, with adequate support also for young couples and for the many socially disadvantaged families;
• Support the family in the fulfilment of its social and economic functions;
• Orient the social, economic and financial policies and organisation of services towards the achievement of the above objective;
• Respect the principle of 'aid', by which the State should not be a substitute for the family in the fulfilment of its role and functions, but, in case of necessity, should help and support it;
• Give adequate information regarding access to adoption procedures;
• Reserve a fundamental, unique and exclusive place to the family in society, without equating it to any other type of union or cohabitation.

NB: If you'd like to deepen your understanding of the above subject, you could read the following documents of the Holy See:

Catechism Of The Catholic Church, nn. 1601-1666; 2331-2400;

Vatican Council II, Gaudium et spes, nn.47-50;

Paul VI, Encyclical Letter Humanae vitae, 1968;

John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris consortio,1982; Apostolic Letter Mulieris dignitatem, 1988;

Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Instr. Donum vitae, 1988; Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the collaboration of man and woman in the Church and in the world, 2004.