After the Murphy and Ryan report: questions about the priesthood have rightly been at the centre of the discussion of the Church's future. There are some who attack the very notion of priesthood. But even many of those who strongly criticise the institutional Church make a point of mentioning "the good work done by priests in parishes around the country".

People have very different visions of priesthood. Fintan O'Toole wrote in The Irish Times recently about his brief period of wanting to become a priest. As an altarboy in 1960s Ireland, he saw priests as people with "prestige - people looked up to them and they could wander into any house for a cup of tea or a plate of rashers". He loved the ritual of the Latin Mass and thought it was a "thrilling show" when John Charles McQuaid came to celebrate a funeral. God doesn't feature in the piece.

And even those who see priests in a more positive light sometimes have high expectations. Priests are variously expected to be leaders, organisers, counsellors and administrators.

Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York, one of the Apostolic Visitors, thinks that it's a lot simpler. ''God is the only treasure people desire to find in a priest.'' In a talk at St Patrick's College, he said, ''The priest must be a man of God, the one who belongs exclusively to God and inspires people to think of God as the philosophers remind us, Nemo dat quod non habet -- no one gives what one does not have. If priests are expected to give God, we better have Him -- and that's sanctity, holiness.''

But this doesn't mean that priests should be aloof, disconnected sages. Archbishop Dolan spoke of a priest who had just been dispatched to a new parish and wanted to know what the people wanted from him. He kept asking for a job description until the parishioners said: ''Father, we just want you to be with us.''

Part of being with people is understanding them. In a recent chat with a priest who reads The Irish Catholic regularly, he admitted he was surprised to hear that I wrote for it. He tended, he explained, to skip the young people's page. My Dad, Brendan Conroy, had similar experiences with priests when he used to write a parenting column. But it's absolutely crucial for priests to know what's going on in the lives of young people, parents, women, and lay people in general. Jesus, after all, spent most of his time with ordinary people.

That's all very well, you might say, but what about all the practical tasks that priests encounter every day in parishes? Does a good priest have to be good at all of them?

Archbishop Diarmuid Martin, speaking at an ordination recently, quoted St Peter in regard to priests: ''Each one of you has received a special grace, so like good stewards responsible for all these different graces of God, put yourselves at the service of others. No one is a priest just by themselves or for themselves.'' It's sometimes forgotten that priests are people too, with their own talents. In my own parish, the priests each bring something different to their ministry, and they complement each other. The loss of this cooperation is one of the many reasons that the decline in vocations in Ireland is so sad.

But cooperation doesn't have to just be between priests. Archbishop Martin also said ''The specific authority of a priest is abused if he does not welcome and foster full participation of lay men and women in the activity of his parish. The Church needs priests; the Church also needs committed lay persons; both charisms, though distinct, belong together.''

A lesson that the institutional Church could have learned earlier is that being a good priest or bishop doesn't necessarily make you a good organiser - and it shouldn't need to. Lay people (even young people!) are often more than willing to lend their own diverse talents to the running of a parish, or indeed diocese. Asking people to help is always a great start. What we're looking for (and what many in parishes like mine get) is collaboration. This partnership between everyone in the Body of Christ is Catholicism at its best.

Priests are a bridge between the human and the divine. They are, in some ways, like translators. But for this to work, there needs to be communication. Priests should never be afraid to talk to lay people. But lay people have just as large an obligation to understand, support and engage with priests. In the words of renowned American playwright Stephen Adly Guirgis: ''The best priests are here to serve, and to expand their communal life by expanding our spiritual lives. So reach out and speak your heart. You have a right to expect answers and assistance. And you might even make a friend.''